Professors who bluntly tell you the truth about your chances of getting into grad school are real downers. :( I knew the small likelihood -- I just chose to ignore it and hope blindly.

Anyway, going to amusing nonsense....

All these jobs that I have been applying to recently usually have requirements which I don't meet due to my lack of office experience (damn you, CVS, for always being available!!). So I have gotten to the point where I will write stuff in my cover letters that's a little bit odd, a little bit quirky, a little bit amusing, in the hopes that whoever reads it will be amused and pleased enough to call me in for an interview, despite my lack of experience. However, I think I went too far when I applied to a job at the Agnes Scott College library as a circulation assistant. Check it:

My experience at CVS/Pharmacy centered around two essential skills: customer service and product knowledge. Each item has its own particular place on the shelves, and it cannot be replaced with the product to its right or across the store. When a customer comes in, I am able to tell him whether we carry an item and exactly where it is located. Though this is a paltry comparison to the far more complex organization of a library, it indicates that I comprehend the importance of proper placement and of locating the exact product (or book) that a patron desires.

Yeah. Doubt I'm hearing back from them. Hopefully, they'll post it on a bulletin board so everyone can read it and laugh out loud.